1. The only problem with these posts is that, being so
goddamn articulate and smart, people tend to be rendered speechless and don't
comment back, which sort of defeats the purpose [tic].
2. [tic] is something I invented to denote tongue-in-cheekness.
Based on [sic], which is Latin for "this is a mistake, but it's being left
in to make whoever said it look daft" (especially favoured by The Guardian
when quoting working class Northerners).
3. When I was in Guerneville I heard a rumour that I'd walked
20 miles in one night in order to do something naughty. Not true at all! I
strongly refute it! It was actually 37 miles. And there were grizzlies.
#whatahero
4. What's your most psychic dream? I reckon mine was when I
dreamed my ex was wearing heavy make-up in a sex club in a very particular part
of London - all of which was very out of
character for her, including the being in London .
'Cept when I told her about it she was like, 'wowzers' - for on the night of
the dream she had indeed been in that part of London, in a fetish club, and
mostly wearing nothing but body paint.
5. The last time I travelled around America was in
the days before cell phones, facebook, and texting. I can't say it's any easier
or better now for having those things. In fact, the opposite may be true.
Weird, huh?
6. I've been thinking - maybe I've been a bit limited in my
imagination of what's possible in this life. My ideas mainly revolve around
exploring the US , hitting up
the hot springs in Mexico ,
and then heading back to the UK
and finding a partner and a job. But then I thought, why not just spend the
rest of my life walking hither thither around the American West? Or why not
abandon standard culture and go live with a tribe in Indonesia
or South America firing blow darts, licking
frogs, and diving for fish. Might be interesting.
7. Even though British people have a reputation for
coldness, when it comes to putting kisses on emails and texts they may be world
leaders. I first learned this when I was reprimanded by a male friend for NOT
doing it, and was amazed when the first text I received from a guy I'd never
met - straight, mind; just something to do with sport - was 'sealed with a
kiss'. It's standard practice. But a few times I've done it out here people
have freaked out and thought I was coming on to them. How strange. In fact, the
only US-based person I know who does it as a matter of course is a Brit who's
been away from 'home' since the nineties.
8. I noticed a strange thing in California : a tendency for people to put
'Private Property! No Trespassing!' signs on their houses. I wondered what
motivated such purchases: were they having problems with people hiking through
their yards? Picnicking on their decks? Even SHOPS in Berkeley had them in their windows. Much
confusion. What if they take my innocent browsing for a heinous act of
trespass?
9. I picked up a copy of National Geographic the other day;
one of those '100 Places You Absolutely Must Go To Not Die a Loser' issues.
Standard stuff; and I'd been to quite a lot of them. But what I noticed was
that rather than thinking, wow, that's beautiful, I bet I'd be happier and more
fulfilled if I was there, I was mostly thinking about how they'd neglected to
mention that Paris smells of piss; that London's ugly and grey; that there are
dozens of better canyons than the Grand One; that no matter where you go it's
just people, good and bad, mostly working and watching TV, talking shite and
having a laugh. I guess I must be making progress: if there's one thing I've
learned on this trip it's that where you live, who you're with (or not with),
and what you've got doesn't seem to make a blind bit of difference to mental
well-being. Pretty obvious, really; all my life people've been telling me 'the
grass ain't always greener'. I guess I'm just one of those people who needed to
eat a bunch of it to understand that.
10. A man at a party asks me a question - and then before I
have a chance to answer he launches into HIS answer, as though I've asked him.
Then he goes off on a tangent. Then a couple more. Then, twenty minutes later,
and with still not a word from me, he happily concludes and walks away.
I've noticed a lot if that kind of thing this past year.
What's all that about, huh?
11. Guy in pawn store: "English, eh? We ought to be
more like you guys; you don't mess around. Any Muslims give you shit you just
shoot 'em. What we need is someone like Thatcher in charge."
I wonder where he got his education?
12. Meanwhile, in the background, Fox News plays. "It's
a terrible day for freedom," the anchor deadpans sincerely. I'm thinking,
there's a sentence you'll never hear on British TV. In fact, much as the word
"freedom" is bandied around here, it's not a word you hear very much
in England
at all. Probably indicative of something.
13. You know you've reached a certain age when everyone
under 25 looks like a teenager, and half the women you're attracted to are
closer to 50 than 30.
14. Still, having been seven months single I'm pleased to
report a lot less grey in my hair than I had back in April. ;-)
15. A lovely woman craves a relationship. Time is running
out. It's clear to others, however, that something is getting in the way: she
can't stop talking, and most of what she says is drivel. Should she be told?
16. I got woken up by a demon the other day. I thought he
said his name was 'Adrian '.
We'd been chatting maybe half an hour - me all the time calling him 'Adrian' -
when it finally clicked: "'Aging'; his name is 'Aging'". How
embarrassing.
17. Sometimes present happinesses are built on future hopes,
and sometimes those future hopes are kind of empty. For example, let's say a
meditation teacher gives you a technique, tells you certain beneficial things
will happen, and, lo and behold, when you try it, they do. No reason, therefore,
to suspect that further seemingly pie-in-the-sky promises hypothetical
meditation teacher makes won't also materialise. Except...
Likewise, the second coming of Christ, etc.
18. Now spent 11 of my last 19 Christmases in North America:
5 in Canada , 3 in the US , and 3 in Mexico . Only had 2 in my native Yorkshire .
19. We New Agers talk a lot about love, have a ton of ideas,
probably think we know what it is. So how come so many of us are single,
divorced, or constantly struggling in the relationship game? Is it because what
we think of as "love" is actually a "self-serving, neurotic and
egotistical narcissism," as one pundit has put it?
20. Still in Colorado .
It's nice. :-)
21. Snuff Box.
